“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” — Ephesians 4:26

In our household, especially when there are heated disagreements, we try to recall that there is a wrong way to be right. When conflict or arguments arise, the way we posture ourselves is just as important, if not more important, than the issue we may be defending or the stance we may be taking. We may feel that our position is right, or just, but the way we posture ourselves often puts us in the wrong.

God doesn’t want us to just be right on an issue, He wants us to be right in our posture, our tone, and our expression.

After a long time (nearly 40 years) of aimless wandering in the wilderness, Israel was ready to move on and enter the Promised Land. The camp had been complaining about a lack of water and the people began to quarrel with Moses, their leader. He took the matter to God and the Lord spoke to Moses saying, “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.” (Numbers 20:8)

Moses and Aaron gathered the people saying, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” They had been down this road before and Moses seems to be running out of patience (Exodus 17). Then he lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly.

There was evidently something very severe about Moses’ behavior and the fact that he struck the rock. It was something to which God took exception. Back at Mount Sinai, God told Moses to strike the rock and water came forth (Exodus 17:6). But here at Meribah he was merely instructed to speak to the rock, yet with the rod in his hand. He failed to do what God told him to do.

Moses lectured the “rebels” with a resentful attitude of heart and carelessness of posture that he had not shown before—one of anger and contempt for the people of God. His bitterness was on reckless display. It says in Psalm 106:32-33…

They angered him at the waters of Meribah,
and it went ill with Moses on their account,
for they made his spirit bitter,
and he spoke rashly with his lips.

Though God’s Word describes how the people provoked Moses here, and commentators have given hundreds of explanations for the outcomes, we find not a single excuse for his behavior. It’s been observed that Moses took the rebellion of the people against the Lord too personally and also over-magnified his own partnership with God. His lapse into contempt led him into a lapse of subtle pride. The Lord declared that his actions were rooted in unbelief, and that he failed to “uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel” (Numbers 20:12). The consequences would be severe—“therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.”

It sounds kind of harsh that this episode alone would keep Moses out of the Promised Land, but it did.

The Bible tells us that the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20). When arguing with a spouse or sibling, deliberating with colleagues in the boardroom or the office, sparring with other believers over important leadership issues in the church, or when debating political issues with those of different viewpoints, we need to remember that there is a wrong way to be right. God expects us to have a posture of humility, gentleness, and respect (1 Peter 2:17, 1 Peter 3:15, Titus 2:7)—one that affirms those issues or principles that are important to us and in keeping with His Word, but also in a way that values those people who may not be in agreement with us.

When you are confronted with relationship issues that ruffle your feathers, remember the importance of upholding God as holy in all manner of conduct and conversation (1 Peter 1:15-16). Think about that as you seek to abide in Him this week.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we understand that there is a wrong way to be right. Even if we are right on an issue it doesn’t mean we are right in expression or posture. Forgive us where we have failed you in this regard. Help us to uphold you as holy in every manner of our daily interactions. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Questions for Reflection, Small Group or Family Discussion:

1. Where have you seen the destructiveness of man’s anger in the world today?
2. How is God dishonored when we make hasty or emotion-charged decisions?
3. When have you been right in a wrong way?
4. What can you take away from this passage in Numbers 20:2-13?
5. What is a specific action you can take this week to uphold God as holy in your conduct and conversations?

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