Living in a Cul-De-Sac of Bitterness

Text: Ephesians 4:25-32

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:31-32

It’s hard to forgive people who’ve hurt us. But unforgiveness leads only to a cul-de-sac of bitterness. And we all know that “cul-de-sac” is just a French word that makes a dead-end street sound a bit classier, though it’s still a dead end.

I’ve heard bitterness described as a rattlesnake which, when cornered, can become so angry it will bite itself with its toxic venom. What a picture of the self-sabotaging nature of anger! Holding a grudge has also been likened to holding a stick of dynamite after the wick has been lit. It’s only a matter of time until an emotional explosion causes further damage to the person holding it and anyone in proximity.

Paul had some wisdom for those struggling to let go of bad things that happened in the past. After warning the followers of Jesus in Ephesus to avoid letting their anger turn into sin, thus giving opportunity to the devil, he speaks of the need for grace-filled actions that are good for the building up of others. Anything short of this would “grieve” the Holy Spirit of God. Thus, he gives the command: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The Greek word for “bitterness” here is used three other times in the New Testament. It is used by Peter when he reprimanded Simon the Sorcerer for being in the “gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity,” calling on him to repent of his wickedness (Acts 8:22-23). It is used in Romans 3:14 in the context of those with venomous and cursing lips, having not known the “way of peace.” And thirdly, it is used in Hebrews 12:15 in the context of those troubled by a “root of bitterness” who “fail the grace of God” and become “profane” and “defiled,” such as Esau who sold his birthright and found no place of repentance.

Bitterness is a treacherous cul-de-sac to land in. A good navigation point to examine whether we are on this street is if we strongly desire justice for others but mercy for ourselves. When we want forgiveness from God but fail to offer forgiveness to others, there is an indicator we need repentance to turn things around and get on the right road to recovery, where we can find healing and peace. We can do this by turning our thoughts, not just once, but again and again on the words “as God in Christ forgave you.” Think about that as you seek to abide in Him this week.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, your holiness demands that I extend the same forgiveness to others that has been mercifully extended to me through Christ. I cannot glorify Jesus while holding a grudge. Holy Spirit, reveal in my heart any inclination of bitterness, anger, or resentment that needs to be confronted. Show me what repentance from bitterness looks like, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion:

1. What makes forgiveness so difficult?
2. When have you held onto a grudge, or allowed a root of bitterness to get into your heart?
3. How has Christ’s mercy and forgiveness impacted your life?
4. What needs to happen for you to desire mercy for others to the same degree you desire mercy for yourself?
5. Is this passage evoking any need of repentance in your life?